A blog several weeks in the making. Readers, I’ve been busy. I’ve been busy slaving away at a job I loathe (how did I find myself in this position again) and I’ve been enjoying the company of my long lost kiss. I haven’t had time to write because I’ve been so busy.
Started on September 18th (the day of the Rock of Ages Dance Call)
Here I stand, in navy fishnets, my push-up bra, my Leo legs hiked up to my navel, hair teased, lips lined …. even some fucking blue eyeshadow and I’m going home. Today I was “typed out” of the Rock Of Ages dance call. First of all, for those muggles who don’t know this term, allow me to elaborate. At an audition many people will show up. The first to arrive are usually the non equity actors. Those of us fortunate enough to be non union means we have to get up extra early, put our names on a list and wait to go last. I’m sure I’ve defined it in previous blogs as steerage of the acting community. So I arrived and put my name on the list. I was number 37.
Then the equity actors show up. They form two groups before us non-Eq riffraff and dance while I stretch my legs all over the place. The monitor announces that they are planning on “typing” the non union actors. “Typing” is when the casting panel selects certain actors to stay and audition because they have the “right look.” Sometimes they’ll line you up and pick you out like a herd of cattle: if you look right you get a chance to audition, if not you go home. Sometimes they type by height, body shape, dance ability (yes sometimes they’ll ask you to do a standard routine or few dance moves, such as a double pirouette into a batma, to see your technique.)
So I stretched. I stretched so much that my fishnets ripped up the middle and quickly became crotchless: with how high my legs were pulled up, I was bound to slip a lip during this dance or whatever they had in store for us. Then the monitor called us all together into the holding room from our little corners of the sky for stretching … “If I call your name, you will stay for the dance call.” This time they just looked at headshots, not at how sick my legs looked in my leo, not at my great hair and makeup job … a selfie that I’ve photoshopped into a headshot that is here to just get me by … well, not this time.
I looked to my left on the subway, a man stares at me funny. He’s probably thinking to himself, “Gee, Ive never seen a hooker out so early.” I look to my right and there’s another. A beautiful young girl, blonde hair and bright red lipstick, dance pants and her backpack full of supplies. We smile at each other because here we are together, headed home after the axe.
Now October 5th:
My last day at BA was yesterday. No costumes necessary, no hulabaloo, just the end. OR the beginning? Tis the season to start trying harder. Tis the season to fit up, trim up, dance hard and screlt harder. Auditions are coming in hot now and it’s time to stop messing around.
I haven’t written about it at all because I’ve been so caught up, but he finally came here.
We’ve been to an audition together where we screlted out best and I think I made an impression. We’ll see when I audition there again.
And the endless delicious dinners, surprise roses at work, slow dances and serenades in the subway cars and the arguments … oh the arguments! But I’m enjoying it, all of it. It’s more of a challenge than I thought it would be, but I think it’s going really well.
I’ve been a little homesick recently and I think he’s a bit insulted. See I always felt lonely with all of my closest friends and family far away. Then we formed the First Wives Club and the city seemed easier. It seemed more adventurous. I felt more present. Now I feel a little lost again. I’m not sure if it’s been the job, if it’s been the lack of Ladies Lunch, but I know that I’m going to feel more myself again soon. With the stress of BA behind me it’s time to yoga myself into a balanced serenity again. It’s time to lip trill every morning and find a pianist who will help me find songs that are fabulous for me. It’s time to put the pink tights back on and get yelled at for not standing up perfectly straight and turning out!
October is my month! Coincidence that my horoscope says this? “Happy cosmic New Year! Friday’s new moon in Libra hits the refresh button on your internal browser, clearing away history…or at least helping you to focus on the brighter days ahead. You only get one new moon in your sign per year, so this is kind of a big deal. Spend time writing out wishes, ones that you’d like to manifest in the coming six months. How would you like to grow in the year ahead? You have the celestial green light to invest in your own self-development, be it a life-changing class, sessions with a supercoach, or a spiritual pilgrimage that nourishes your soul.” (courtesy of Elle.com, best horoscopes ever!)
It’s my happy new year and I intend to make the most of it. Resolutions start now.